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Japanese meaning of 友達って奴ァ　今日からなるとか決めるんじゃなく　いつの間にかなってるもんでさぁ

— Sogo Okita ／ Gintama

ともだちってやつぁ　きょうからなるとかきめるんじゃなく　いつのまにかなってるもんでさぁ (Tomodachi tte yatsu a, kyō kara naru toka kimeru n ja naku, itsu no ma ni ka natteru mon de sā.)

English Translation:

Friends aren't something you decide to become starting today. You just turn into friends before you know it.

Work: Character: Emotion: Scene:

Original Scene & Cultural Context

Scene in the Original Work:

In the Mitsuba arc of Gintama, Okita has Gintoki act as his friend in front of his older sister Mitsuba, and says this to Gintoki (vol. 15, ch. 129).
日本語で読む
『銀魂』ミツバ篇で、沖田は姉のミツバの前で銀時に友達のふりをしてもらい、その銀時にこう言う（15巻129話）。

Cultural Context:

Mitsuba is Okita's older sister, who came to Edo to get married. でさぁ is Okita's speech style, an old Edo-style polite ending like ですよ.
日本語で読む
ミツバは沖田の姉で、結婚のために江戸へ出てきた。「でさぁ」は沖田の口調で、「ですよ」にあたる江戸っ子風の言い方。

Grammar & Learning Points

Grammar Point

•「〜って奴ァ」= casual 〜というものは (as for ~). •「〜とか」= things like ~. •「〜んじゃなく」= not ~, but... •「いつの間にか」= before you know it. •「〜もんでさぁ」= that's how ~ is.
日本語で読む
•「〜って奴ァ」は「〜というものは」のくだけた形。•「〜とか」は例をあげる言い方。•「〜んじゃなく」は「〜のではなく」。•「いつの間にか」は気づかないうちに。•「〜もんでさぁ」は「〜ものですよ」。

Trap for English Speakers

奴 usually means "guy", but 〜って奴 can refer to things or ideas too: 友達って奴 means "this thing called friendship".
日本語で読む
「奴」はふつう人を指すが、「〜って奴」は物や考えにも使う。「友達って奴」は「友達というもの」。

Example

Example 1Basic Example

  1. 「その子とはいつから友だちなの？」と母に聞かれた娘が、「友達って奴ァ　今日からなるとか決めるんじゃなく　いつの間にかなってるもんでさぁ」と答えた。

    When Mom asked, "Since when have you been friends with her?", my sister answered, "Friends aren't something you decide to become starting today. You just turn into friends before you know it."

Example 2Applied Example

  1. （いつの間にか家に住みついたねこを見て、父が）家族って奴ァ　今日からなるとか決めるんじゃなく　いつの間にかなってるもんでさぁ。

    (Dad, looking at the cat that somehow moved into our house) "Family isn't something you decide to become starting today. You just turn into family before you know it."

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Meaning

What does 「友達って奴ァ　今日からなるとか決めるんじゃなく　いつの間にかなってるもんでさぁ」 mean?

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